Repetition - Until You Become Conscious of It

 

When I was a child, deja vu was a common occurrence for me. I would be in a conversation with someone and the scene would be replaying in my head, word for word and action for action. This went on for a few years, until I was about six or seven. I talked about it happening to me to an adult, was told it was not normal and then it slowly stopped except for rare occasions.

When driving became second nature, there were days that turned into several days, when all I would hit was green lights in intersections. Once I became consciously aware of this happening, it would stop and traffic lights would go back to random.

Playing poker at a casino poker room, there were sessions that became automatic. I knew the outcome before the hand was played out. I knew when to press my 'luck', and when to slow down. Once again, when I became conscious of what was happening it all stopped and went back to random action.

The latest is what goes on at the Casino Craps Table. I have observed rhythms or patterns that were fairly consistent from session to session. These same patterns seemed to repeat over and over and over.

I spent many hours devising a strategy to take advantage of these patterns. I went through all the options, racked my brain for problems and off I went to the proverbial races.

At first it was wizardry. I could not believe I was the first person in the world to notice these patterns and take advantage of them. I would make an out of character larger than normal one roll bet, it would hit, the players around me exhaled, and I would get payed. Then it went away. Now it's some crazy random pattern, when I play, so bizarre, the people who appear to be winning, are pulling $100 bills out of their wallets to keep playing.

Our brain is very good at finding patterns, animals and faces in clouds, people watching us in public, repetitive actions that we no longer pay attention to, like the trip to the grocery store. We can check in and be aware or check out. Either way we end up at our destination.

Which leads me to the main point of this note. For several decades, I have believed that our life is a controlled simulation, and as soon as we get a glimpse of it, the algorithm changes to something that seems to be completely random. I'm left wondering if before I noticed, was it really happening or is it my brain looking for patterns?

The 10% Rule Helps Get You Through the Day

 

When I was probably in my thirties, I realized I discovered something interesting about human behavior. I thought of it as the, 10% Rule. Over the years from my limited perspective it seems to be fairly accurate.

The, 10% Rule, is pretty simple. If you think up any common human behavior, around ten percent of the people around you participate in that behavior.

Racism? Around ten percent of people are racist or have racist tendencies.

Cheating Spouses? Once again, at least ten present of people have or will cheat on their spouse.

Thieves? Sure, around ten percent of the people will steal, most only if they think they will not be caught. Some just steal because it is easier than actually earning a living.

Entitlement? Whether you are walking, waiting inline, or driving, about ten percent of the people around feel they are entitled, and cause friction with their behavior among the people around them.

Anger or anger management issues? Once again, it seems about ten percent of the people around me are angry by default or have anger management issues.

The list goes on and on. No matter what behavior you can think of, at least ten percent of the people around you follow that behavior.

There is also the, 'good' 10%. That ten percent of people who have truly admirable behaviors.

Good Samaritans - The ten percent of people who will jump in and help out without being asked.

Volunteers - The ten percent of people who feel strongly enough about a social issue they put themselves where their mouth is. They not only talk the talk, they walk the walk.

It is hard to focus on the outstanding 10%, when every day is bombarded with the ten percent of behaviors we would rather not be exposed to.

It is even more difficult when the liar you know would change their behavior, works at an animal rescue, does Meals on Wheels, or spends time volunteering at another one of hundreds of notable endeavors.

I wish I could get through my day thinking about the great people around me, but being human, I tend to go with the flow, spending part of my day wondering why people have to behave as they do.

We are nothing if not complex. I do like to think we have evolved to where we are now. Maybe in the past, their was no 10%. There was only what people thought they could get away with.

Prevent Birds from flying into your window

 I saw this on a YouTube video, made by Alex Sally,  Incredibly simple tip to prevent birds flying into window. It only took me eight years to find this video.

I have had birds of all sizes crash into one particular upper window of our home. 

After watching the video, I went out and found a white marking paint/pen for less than $3.00,

I drew about a four inch tic tac toe board on the window, and the bird hits have stopped! Such a cheap and easy fix!

A Mother's prayer

 

One would think that a note from your Mother, especially if you are an adult or close to it is something you would want to keep and treasure. Looking at used books in a second hand store I came across the note above written on the inside of a blank page.

I find it hard to guess, whether the receiver of the book was a know it all teen, who no longer has any use for anything from her overly controlling mother, or was it a forgotten memory from a caring Mother to her loving daughter....

There are worse finds in second had stores however, like finding and interesting wooden box, and realizing it holds ashes. Not one of my favorite finds. Generally, I buy the box of ashes, take them to somewhere peaceful and bury them, with a prayer or two.

Such is life, some relationships are treasured, others are scorned until some future aha moment, when the person wishes whey could take back all that time and do it over.

The Devil Among Us Final

End of March 2026

The chorus in this song below popped into my head the other night. Not all of it, just [Chorus 1], below in bold… The strange thing is, the name was missing. It seemed I needed to insert  a replacement name: Keri. Tell Keri….(5)

April 2026

Keri seems to have gone away for the most part. This is really starting to feel intrusive and this is bothering me. Nothing about this should feel intrusive.

I did some deep thinking - meditation, if you will with the question, “What is going on, this does not feel right.”

After only a few moments into deep relaxation, the answer to my question arrived. “This is not Keri”.

Whoa, let me think about this….

 This ‘Keri’ presence is something else. It has an unknown to me ulterior motive. “How obvious”, I thought, now everything makes sense. Something is impersonating Keri!  Time for “it” (6) to move on.

The fix for this is simple in these situations: Whatever “it” is, it must be refused, ignored, and sent away. All one has to do is say, “NO”, and mean it. “Just say No”, which I have now done. This will be my final answer for the present and the future, No. I refuse to interact with “it” any more. 

Whatever “it” is and whatever its objective or end point is, I can only guess at. However, I refuse to be part of it. So much so, I also asked that an Angel be sent to chase it away. There may be crying and gnashing of proverbial teeth on, “Its” part, but that is not my problem. I’m grateful I was made aware of the situation and have stopped it from continuing.

In a few days, it seems to have given up, and moved on. I must admit, it was a well thought, believable illusion. It was just too intense and intrusive to be unquestionably believable.

I retrospect, starting with the appearance in march of this year, I should not have been so accepting. I should have been as cynical as I usually am about these things. Cynicism saves time and frustration. If I would have asked some pointed questions a month ago, none of this would have occurred. 

Footnotes:

1. There are many ways we pass on when we leave our body behind.

Some people simply refuse to pass on, and they are what we think of as ghosts or poltergeists

The Rainbow Bridge is a real place, which is literally a Rainbow people walk up, and back down the far side. This is a one way trip. When people reach the bottom, they arrive at the Plain of Forgetfulness. Some join friends or family here for an extended stay in surroundings they are familiar with. Most people do do not stay here. 

A side note to the Rainbow Bridge, Death has a small cabin just on the other side of the crest. Death looks like an older country women in her fifties. She wears brown clothes, and glasses. It is thought, there are four or five beings like death, that actually exist, and are female. Of course anyone in this realm of life, will never be aware of their presence. 

Wandering around the Plain of Forgetfulness, is the River of Forgetfulness. When people drink from the river, and they drink and adequate amount, they forget their past life. Now they can walk back to the Rainbow Bridge, walk up and over, and they will be taken and reborn, to lead another life.

There is also the river, mostly called the River Styx, which is a very old name. This river also is out on a flat plain. People walk to into the river, crossing to the other side, where family is there to greet them. What happens after that was not explained to me.

For Christians, we have choices…

Go to the light. Go to the tunnel and enter it. Go to the Pearly gates and ask St. Peter if you can enter heaven. 

There are probably more ways to pass on and thru that I am not aware of….

2. Limbo has several names. It is a place a spirit goes alone to ponder their past life. People in Limbo are in self isolation. They stay here until they come to terms with their past life, and they leave, hopefully to one of the places above.

3. Some people have had hundreds of lives, and do not need help when they pass over. They know where they need to go, and what they need to do.

4. We all have our personal group on the other side. We have (usually) been together since we were first created. To my knowledge, the group size is four to six, but I have limited information on this.

5. 1960 death song. Ray Peterson - Tell Laura I Love Her (RCA 1960)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTjQgkHzbTk&list=RDpTjQgkHzbTk&start_radio=1

Tell Laura I Love Her

[Verse 1]

Laura and Tommy were lovers

He wanted to give her everything

Flowers, presents

And most of all a wedding ring

[Verse 2]

He saw a sign for a stock car race

A thousand dollar prize it read

He couldn't get Laura on the phone

So to her mother Tommy said

[Chorus 1]

Tell Laura I love her

Tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura I may be late

I've something to do that cannot wait

[Verse 3]

He drove his car to the racing ground

He was the youngest driver there

The crowd roared as they started the race

Round the track they drove at a deadly pace

[Verse 4]

No-one knows what happened that day

Or how his car over-turned in flames

But as they pulled him from the twisted wreck

With his dying breath they heard him say

[Chorus 2]

Tell Laura I love her

Tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura not to cry

My love for her will never die

[Verse 5]

Now in the chapel where Laura prays

For her Tommy who passed away

It was just for Laura he lived and died

Alone in the chapel she can hear him cry

[Chorus 2]

Tell Laura I love her

Tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura not to cry

My love for her will never die

[Tag]

Tell Laura I love her

Tell Laura I love her…

6. As much as horror movies want us to believe, most entities such as this one are not some demon from hell running rampant, or some other type of monster. The movies and literature would like us to believe so, but it is not true. For example, knocking in the house could be cause by an entity who finds a specific location meets its needs, and it has no idea it is scaring the hell out of someone. Generally, when made aware of the fear they cause, they move on to another location.

Generally they are harmless if one can only say, No, and mean it. Some people believe there we are the third incarnation of life on earth, and the two previous races still exist, but without form or substance. Occasionally they want to be flesh and blood again, and this is one way they go about it. Just say, No, and mean it usually ends the relationship in short order.

The Devil Among us Part 3

 

March 2026

Keri is here again. In the moment, I do not know why. I am leaning towards this is my imagination, as there is no other logical reason. My Doctor tells me my health is good. Perhaps my brain isn’t?

Keri was in my dream last night. She tells me she wants to be with me. She wants to stay with me until I pass.

I am dumbfounded, I have heard of this before, but it is always single people who live alone who have ghosts move in with them, usually a spouse that has passed on.

A few days later – Keri is in my waking life now, hovering by me like a small, soft cloud. I have had some time to think about this situation, and it seems we can communicate. I can ask questions, and she responds with thoughts that form ideas or words.

I explain to Keri, I am happily married, and I do not know how to manage her as part of my life. I ask her why she wants to be with me, instead of moving on to where we all go when we pass (1), and start working on our life mistakes, and decide how we will do things better in our next life. I tell Keri, I will certainly be with her when I pass, as she told me - so what is the rush, and the need to be with me now?

A few more days later – It has been a mostly sleepless few days. I am very tired. My sleep is interrupted by conversation. On the bright side, I now understand….

Keri tells me her life was anything but great. after the first few years her marriage was loveless. Divorce for Keri was not an option for many reasons. This created a family schism, and drove her away from her family, and eventually from her children. She could not fake it, her life had been lonely and silent.

Keri wanted to be with me in the present, so she could have a semblance of a happy life, such as circumstances permitted. I told Keri, the man she knew over fifty years ago is long gone. In his place is a tired, old man. A tired old man who is also happily married, and deeply committed.

Keri also told me, she did not pass over, but placed herself in what we call, “Limbo” (2). Her religion and current beliefs do not allow for reincarnation, and she does not want to pass on feeling like her life was wasted.

I explained to Keri, that before we enter into this life, we have a pre-planned life script we create containing objectives and learning’s we want to accomplish. Often, the people on the other side whom we are close to agree to play a part in our life plan. Sometimes one of them is someone who helps us along and keeps us balanced. Sometimes one of our friends takes an adversarial role to help us grow. Whichever the case, our life plan is constructed for learning and growing. These are the objectives we plan our life around, learning and growing. Just because she feels her life is a wreck, does not mean, it wasn’t a life experience she needed to have for reasons not yet clear.

I explained to Keri, that when we die, and pass over, people who love us are there to greet us, and take us where we need to go. For a time, we we spend what I think of as quiet time away from everyone, to heal from the trauma and abuses our past life threw at us (not limbo). If we are experienced enough (3), we do this alone. Other times someone is there to guide us and protect us while we recover from our past life traumas.

After we are healed, we meet up with friends and family from past lives who we are close to. We join our own personal group (4) and begin to examine our past life in detail. We can do this now without emotion, because we are healthy again, and we can review our life without emotion getting in the way. We determine how well we matched up to our planned life, and if there was deviation in our life, why and how did it happen.

I explained to Keri, that before we enter into this life, we created our life script. This includes who our parents are, their personalities, economic level, etc. Also who our friends (and occasionally enemies, if we need them to learn a life lesson) will be.

Whether we live in the big city, or a poor village without electricity or running water. We find people who love us, to play these different roles for us. All to enhance our life learning. We develop the objectives and learning’s we want to have in our life. Just because Keri feels her life was a wreck, does not mean, it wasn’t a life she wanted and needed to have.

Keri tells me she will not interfere with my life or my marriage, she just wants to be around me. I tell Keri, I understand. And she needs to trust me, that her life was a sliver of all the lives she has lived and will live in our path of growing and learning.

For now, Keri is around me, but she does take time away from me, I am not sure why.

As of this moment, everything is as normal as normal can get under the circumstances. I find this very tiring, draining actually, and this bothers me. It does not feel right. One one hand I have this life, in this reality. At the same time, I am aware of Keri’s presence. Her presence feels like a small glowing ball of energy at the level of my head on my right side..

Keri is not interfering in my life per say, but this is hard to manage all the same. I do not like the feeling, and I do not care for the arrangement too much. I am hesitant to talk with her about it.

The Devil Among us Part 2

 March 2023

A few months ago, I realized Keri was on my mind - a lot. Almost like a cloud of Keri vapor, surrounding me. No matter what I was doing, thoughts of Keri would seep into my mind. Why the sudden feeling she was around me?

It wasn’t any more of that, and I wrote it off to life reflection, that older people tend to do. We wonder about those things that could have been.

 March 13, 2023

One night in a dream, Keri was present and talking to me. Keri told me she had passed on. Keri said she had a good life and family, with two kids. Then came the bomb shell.

Keri told me she would be here when it was my time to pass. She said she was waiting, and would be there to meet me. Then the dream was over. I woke up, and eventually went back to sleep. When I woke, this dream was the only thing on my mind. Keri would be here to meet me when I passed.

My thoughts about this were - all over the place. Was I going to die soon and I did not know it? Why would I have a dream like this? It was not an empty dream, it was a real meet up. It was a coherent cohesive dream, not one of those nonsense dreams. It was real. There must more to it.

I searched the net and found Keri’s obituary in a local paper in the town she was born and died in. The obit was mostly flat and lifeless, as if someone went through the motions of writing it with minimum effort (or emotion) involved. But her age fit, as did her first name, and the number of her children. Given the circumstances, it had to be her obit.

A few days later, the feeling of Keri being around me was back. Because I am a horrible cynic about anything paranormal, I made a plan. I told the Keri (presence), if this was not a dream, or a delusion on my part, and she was who she said she was, and she would be there to meet me when I passed, I wanted some type of proof it was really her. I wanted an irrefutable sign that this was not my imagination.

A couple days went by, and there was no sign it was anything but a dream, or suppressed feelings on my part. I was starting to think it was all my imagination. Three days later, I was reading local news on my computer. There was a story about the town of Keri, in Keri County, NM. It seems a small brush fire was started right outside of town, about ten to fifteen acres were burned before it went out. The article did not mention how it started, or how it went out. There was no mention of anyone on scene putting out the fire. Nor was there a cause listed.

There I was sitting wondering if this was the proof I asked for, or some wild - million to one coincidence? What are the odds of my dreams, a Town and County named, Keri making the news for such a small event, and that I would be reading about it?

It was too many coincidences for me to believe it was anything but the proof I asked for. Rather original, but difficult to refute. There were no other fires of note that month, and it was early for the summer fire season.

Older people I have spoken with, say they have had dead loved ones hanging around them at night. Some dream their dead relatives are coming to get them, I did not feel this was some ominous warning, but it didn’t seem normal either. I have enough going on in my life, and did not need to create a ghost for company.

Perhaps it is what it is, and this women who I knew for such a short time for whatever reason wants me to know that when it is my time, I won't be alone. Keri will be there to meet me. I can take peace in that thought.

Or perhaps it is entirely a coincidence? In the moment, I am really undecided, and I am guessing I won't know, until I know. In the mean time I feel comforted by the thought. You will have to decide on the ending as I won't be able to relay the ending for you...